Golden Rule #2 – Heal the relationship with your Birth parents
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, most of us are carrying in our subconscious minds issues with our birth parents. Most of us did not live in a television sitcom as pure as “Happy Days.” Dysfunction exists in ALL families one way or another. How we relate to others is interconnected from our conception and early childhood experiences.
The ideal situation is to start doing some inner housecleaning before you get pregnant. The more you sweep away the hurts and resentments towards your parents, the more it will enhance the relationship between you and your child. The Mother-Child bond is a core foundation to every infant, as Freudian psychology points out.
What to do/Action Steps:
- Start examining issues with your parents. If we start to self-reflect and observe the friction we have with our parents, we will begin to develop more self understanding.
- Realize that your parents are human and stop resenting them for not being your perfect ideal.
- Go back into your past and start to FEEL painful memories. ‘Feeling the feeling’ is a powerful tool to release old baggage. Don’t be afraid to experience hurtful feelings.
- Write down all your poisonous, hateful feelings and memories. Read them out loud and then rip up the paper; say “these feelings are no longer part of me. I forgive you for not being whom I wanted you to be.”
- When revisiting the past experience with your parents, visualize the painful experience in a more positive and uplifting way. Create the resolve that your inner child craves for.
- Stop blaming your parents for your own unhappiness as an adult. It is time to allow mature and accepting feelings to flow through you.
- Allow your childish and immature feelings to surface. Don’t judge these feelings. It is healthy to let them surface, then bury them deep in your unconscious,
As you explore and release childhood feelings and emotions, the more room you create for loving, peaceful feelings. All these exercises may seem silly, but when you excavate your dark, destructive emotions it allows you to love more. You cannot love unless you feel and it is vital to feel painful feelings. All this inner work will help you grow emotionally, as well as spiritually. Learn to love your parents unconditionally and forgive them for past mistakes. You will begin to like yourself more and more, and this is how you become a better Mother and human being. This love, like an umbilical cord, will connect to you and your child. Love is never broken!