Golden Rule #1 – Strengthen the relationship with your Partner
This should be your main priority. Personal relationships are key to your spiritual growth. We walk on sunshine early in our relationship and then as time marches on. the dark, shadowy clouds descend. “He doesn’t bring me flowers anymore.” “She never wants to have sex.” “He’s never home.” “All she does is nag!” “He’s a slob.” Does any of this sound familiar? BLAME, BLAME, BLAME!!! It is always someone else’s fault that you are unhappy. Here lies your first mistake. IT IS YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! This is no one else’s responsibility. No one can make you feel anything. These are your feelings. NEVER EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE…. Many people get married thinking that all the things that bothered you about your mate will change once the wedding band is on the finger. False…..it is just the opposite. All those things that triggered you before, intensify. People mirror back to you what you’re feeling about yourself. Realize that you don’t have any power to change another human being. You can only change yourself. We are all human and sometimes we cannot control our feelings. In a healthy relationship it is important to be expressing our truth without belittling or accusing another person. Creating a loving relationship starts with stopping the dualistic patterns of right versus wrong. Divorce court is filled with this energy. If we speak with kindness, love and truth with our partners we will start to shift our relationship into a supportive one. If someone is angry at you, choose not to match their feelings. The more you love and approve of yourself, the more you have the capabilities to love others. Remember that true love never has an opposite. Love is love and it never deviates.
What to do / Action Steps
1. Allow a deep, compassionate loving for you to sift through negative emotions. Feel them and embrace your darkness. As your negative feelings surface ….explore them and find out where the root comes from. (Early childhood experiences may be a clue.) Realize if the roots come from the past why are you allowing them in the present? Take a breath and a time out if you need it. See if you can raise your vibration to love.
2. Nurture yourself and allow higher, euphoric feeling to come. I play uplifting music to elevate my mood. If you want flowers…buy them for yourself
3. If there is a personality flaw you see in another person, find where that flaw is hidden within yourself. Accept that it is in you and then transcend that trait to a more positive and spiritual attribute. Take for example; ENVY. Maybe someone has something that you want. Instead of getting jealous, you can shift your lower feelings into positive ones. “Good for them for creating such goodness in their life. I can create that in mine also.”
4. Develop Healthy Communication…. Give up the need to be right and making another wrong. Take personal responsibility for your actions and reactions.
5. Treat People the way you want to be treated… If you want love and respect, then treat yourself and others that way. You can choose to be commanding rather than demanding and constructive but not destructive.
6. Let Go of Expectations…. Stop expecting people to behave in the way that you think they should. Disappointment will disappear and love and acceptance can be the replacement.
7. Invest time and energy in your relationship and the benefits of a loving home will benefit you, your Partner & especially your children!
Regardless of where you are in your life journey – Maiden, Mother or Crone – creating a loving partnership is critical to enlightenment!