Did you ever ask yourself this question? I have. When we were children, our beliefs were formulated by our parents, teachers, and religious doctrines. We wanted to fit in and be accepted and loved, so we started to create a false persona to get the approval that we needed. We desperately wanted to be the “special” one.
Some of us succeeded in creating an idealized or imaginary self, that gets love and approval, while others outwardly rebelled, rejecting society’s systems…..ironically, both of these survival techniques are the same. No one is actually being true to their real self; our defenses constantly surround us like armor with the fear of rejection or being exposed for who we really are. Of course, no one can possibly live up to the expectations of this idealized ego. Eventually, some life crisis like a divorce, loss of a job or an illness comes into our life like a tidal wave to wake us up. So how do we discover who we really are?
1. Give up the struggle.
2. Recognize that self contempt is underlying most anxieties and depression.
3. When you are habitually angry at other people, ask yourself why you cannot live up to your own expectations.
4. Realize that you have nothing to hide from others.
5. Accept that not everyone is going to like or love you.
6. Be patient with yourself.
7. Seek out help to breakthrough these ‘old’ patterns & beliefs.
8. Ask yourself, in what areas of your life is your ‘false-self’ operating?
9. Trust in your feelings. They are your radar, guiding you towards your true self.
Coming to self awareness takes time, courage, truthfulness and perseverance. It is the greatest accomplishment of coming home to the real you…..which, by the way, is perfect!