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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #7 Game Day(…my husband’s term)!

Golden Rule #7 – Game Day!

You have been studying the Golden Rules and it’s time for Game Day (OK…… I compromised on this term with my husband)!  Preparing yourself for motherhood is the most important thing you can do in your life. We spend time preparing for exams, events, and many other outside activities, but we give little thought to this most sacred happening.

We all know by now, that the stork doesn’t drop off a baby in a bundle to earth. The sexual act creates life. Many couples come to a point where they decide to get pregnant and suddenly, the act of making love becomes a job, as depicted in the TV Show Sex in the City with Charlotte trying so hard to get pregnant!

We all celebrate the day we were born but really the most important day was the moment of conception. You need to know how important this moment is. In a split second a life is being creating and formed and don’t you want to do more than screwing? So how do we, as women, create the immaculate concept?

What to do / Action Steps:

1. Study the art of tantra. There is a reason why tantric scenes are sculpted in temples…it is not pornography. The temples honor the power of sexuality. It is important to experience pleasure in conceiving a child.
2. Deepen the love connection between you and your partner as I have described in Golden Rule #1.
3. When two people come together to make love consciously to create a life, there is no higher state of being. Make sure as a couple that both your intentions are to create an incredible being, who will be a blessing to earth.
4. Know that you have the capability to create a Christ, Buddha, Krishna or Mohammed within your being.
5. Use in your everyday living the noble truths: right thoughts, right speech, right actions.
6. Raise your vibration by bathing in rose petals with rosewater and oil. Roses carry the highest frequencies….bathing in it cleans and purifies your body and soul.
7. The more you are able to love unconditionally, the more you will create heaven on earth.

Children hold the key to our future. We want them to be spiritually evolved and created in the spirit of pure love. You have the power to create this!

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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #6 Find Fulfillment within Yourself!

Golden Rule #6 – Find fulfillment within yourself!

I have often heard excited new mothers stating that they felt complete after giving birth. It is wonderful to feel complete with a new baby, but really believing your words can ultimately lead you down a difficult road with your relationship with your child.  No one here on earth is here to complete you. This is your job. Wholeness comes from within.  The more you accept this as a truth, you will not be placing unrealistic expectations on your child. How many people have you witnessed that are living through their children?

What to do / Action Steps:

1. Right now, in this moment, review things that you dream of being doing or having. Becoming a parent doesn’t equal giving up on your fondest dreams. The more you explore the uncharted areas of your life and consciousness, you will start to discover the treasure within you.
2. Be present with your thoughts, feelings and actions. If you observe and understand you, life will become a lot of easier. This is the magic you want to pass on to your child. A loving, caring parent, complete within themselves is the greatest gift you can offer a child. The more you are ‘the real you.’ the more you allow your child to grow into being themselves. Can you imagine what the world would be like if people could just be themselves? This is possible…..but only when the mother and father experience the truth within themselves.
3. Take time out every day to connect within, through pray and meditation. Love you enough to be the real you. We can all create heaven on earth just by being the love we seek. The love is in you. So much of our lives are wasting energy of being what we think the world wants us to be. The media bombards us with false images of being feminine or masculine.

As we contemplate bringing a life into the world, we must learn to love ourselves first, in a deep spiritual way (not narcissism) Find out who you truly are. Are we our education, our clothes, our cars or our homes? We would quickly say that we are not ‘our’ things, but isn’t that how we really live our lives?  There is something more. Each one of us is divine and when we start to live from our hearts and not our heads, we can usher in an era of children who will develop and grow as their spirit has intended.  Remember…..the magic is in you!

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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #3 Heal your own Birth Experience!

Golden Rule #3 – Heal your own Birth Experience

“Ludicrous” was my reaction to a friend twenty years ago, when she shared her rebirthing healing session with me.  What a bunch of new age nonsense, I arrogantly thought.  I felt that people were just addicted to healing and searching for another reason to why they were so unhappy.  I don’t have any birth trauma……..boy was I wrong!

On my first visit to Ecuador to study with Shamans, one of the members in my group was a psychotherapist from Colorado.  We had a four hour layover between our travels and she offered the group a rebirthing session.  I had nothing else to do so I agreed. A few hours later I was shocked by my experience.  My subconscious memories through a simple breath-work technique starting to release tension and trauma I never knew existed inside of me.  The experience was so profound that it even touched me on a deeper spiritual level where I spoke to my spiritual guides before my entrance into the tiny infant body of Cynthia.  Energy washed through my body and even at one point my arms became completely paralyzed.  Through conscious breathing with the assistance of the psychotherapist all the tension untied itself.  I started to experience more freedom as light filled my up my body. I felt renewed.

Unconsciously when we are about to give birth, we recreate what our own mothers went through with us. I was a forceps delivered infant and three out of my four children came into this world the same way. I repeated my mother’s pattern until I realized the mind body connection with my fourth and she just popped out into this world on her own. In preparing for your upcoming pregnancy it would be optimal for you to experience a rebirthing session.

What to do /Action Steps:

1. Transformational Breath-work (which is what I did).  You’ll lie down on the ground with a trained Re-Birth Healer and start learning to breathe simply and more deeply.
2. Water Re-Birthing- You’ll be taken in a pool or a hot tub and with the guidance of a Re-Birth Healer, you will start to release cellular memories in your own DNA of the trauma of being born.

Hogwash? ….maybe, but don’t judge it unless you experience it. You might be surprised and healed by this experience.  This will be a monumental step in preparing and creating a blessed birth for your child!

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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #2 Heal the relationship with your Birth Parents!

Golden Rule #2 – Heal the relationship with your Birth parents

  Whether you’re conscious of it or not, most of us are carrying in our subconscious minds issues with our birth parents. Most of us did not live in a television sitcom as pure as “Happy Days.”  Dysfunction exists in ALL families one way or another. How we relate to others is interconnected from our conception and early childhood experiences.

 The ideal situation is to start doing some inner housecleaning before you get pregnant. The more you sweep away the hurts and resentments towards your parents, the more it will enhance the relationship between you and your child. The Mother-Child bond is a core foundation to every infant, as Freudian psychology points out.

 What to do/Action Steps: 

1.  Start examining issues with your parents. If we start to self-reflect and observe the friction we have with our parents, we will begin to develop more self understanding.
2.  Realize that your parents are human and stop resenting them for not being your perfect ideal.
3.  Go back into your past and start to FEEL painful memories. ‘Feeling the feeling’ is a powerful tool to release old baggage. Don’t be afraid to experience hurtful feelings.
4.  Write down all your poisonous, hateful feelings and memories. Read them out loud and then rip up the paper;  say “these feelings are no longer part of me.  I forgive you for not being whom I wanted you to be.”
5. When revisiting the past experience with your parents, visualize the painful experience in a more positive and uplifting way. Create the resolve that your inner child craves for.
6.  Stop blaming your parents for your own unhappiness as an adult. It is time to allow mature and accepting feelings to flow through you.
7.  Allow your childish and immature feelings to surface. Don’t judge these feelings. It is healthy to let them surface, then bury them deep in your unconscious,

 As you explore and release childhood feelings and emotions, the more room you create for loving, peaceful feelings.  All these exercises may seem silly, but when you excavate your dark, destructive emotions it allows you to love more. You cannot love unless you feel and it is vital to feel painful feelings. All this inner work will help you grow emotionally, as well as spiritually.  Learn to love your parents unconditionally and forgive them for past mistakes. You will begin to like yourself more and more, and this is how you become a better Mother and human being. This love, like an umbilical cord, will connect to you and your child.  Love is never broken!

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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #1 Strengthen the relationship with your Partner!

Golden Rule #1 – Strengthen the relationship with your Partner

 This should be your main priority. Personal relationships are key to your spiritual growth.  We walk on sunshine early in our relationship and then as time marches on. the dark, shadowy clouds descend. “He doesn’t bring me flowers anymore.” “She never wants to have sex.” “He’s never home.” “All she does is nag!” “He’s a slob.” Does any of this sound familiar? BLAME, BLAME, BLAME!!! It is always someone else’s fault that you are unhappy. Here lies your first mistake.  IT IS YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! This is no one else’s responsibility. No one can make you feel anything. These are your feelings.  NEVER EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE…. Many people get married thinking that all the things that bothered you about your mate will change once the wedding band is on the finger. False…..it is just the opposite. All those things that triggered you before, intensify. People mirror back to you what you’re feeling about yourself. Realize that you don’t have any power to change another human being. You can only change yourself.  We are all human and sometimes we cannot control our feelings. In a healthy relationship it is important to be expressing our truth without belittling or accusing another person. Creating a loving relationship starts with stopping the dualistic patterns of right versus wrong. Divorce court is filled with this energy. If we speak with kindness, love and truth with our partners we will start to shift our relationship into a supportive one.   If someone is angry at you, choose not to match their feelings. The more you love and approve of yourself, the more you have the capabilities to love others.   Remember that true love never has an opposite. Love is love and it never deviates.

 What to do / Action Steps

 1.  Allow a deep, compassionate loving for you to sift through negative emotions.   Feel them and embrace your darkness. As your negative feelings surface ….explore them and find out where the root comes from. (Early childhood experiences may be a clue.)  Realize if the roots come from the past why are you allowing them in the present? Take a breath and a time out if you need it. See if you can raise your vibration to love.

2.   Nurture yourself and allow higher, euphoric feeling to come. I play uplifting music to elevate my mood. If you want flowers…buy them for yourself

3.   If there is a personality flaw you see in another person, find where that flaw is hidden within yourself. Accept that it is in you and then transcend that trait to a more positive and spiritual attribute. Take for example; ENVY. Maybe someone has something that you want. Instead of getting jealous, you can shift your lower feelings into positive ones. “Good for them for creating such goodness in their life. I can create that in mine also.”

4.   Develop Healthy Communication…. Give up the need to be right and making another wrong. Take personal responsibility for your actions and reactions.

5.   Treat People the way you want to be treated… If you want love and respect, then treat yourself and others that way. You can choose to be commanding rather than demanding and constructive but not destructive.

6.   Let Go of Expectations…. Stop expecting people to behave in the way that you think they should. Disappointment will disappear and love and acceptance can be the replacement.

7.   Invest time and energy in your relationship and the benefits of a loving home will benefit you, your Partner & especially your children!

 Regardless of where you are in your life journey – Maiden, Mother or Crone – creating a loving partnership is critical to enlightment!

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