Posted in Emotional and Spiritual Healing, Manifesting, Relationships | 0 Comments

Looking for Love

We have online dating services, social media, and other ways of connecting to a potential partner, but many people still feel lost and lonely. Why does one feel so alone in the world?People come to see me with a variety of personal issues that are troubling them and one is them is the search for their “BELOVED.”Some people are divorced and others remain single, longer than they ever expected.I often joke with them that the married ones wish that they were single again.  They are treading on the walk of FEAR & not the path of LOVE.  The human mind is filled with concepts, beliefs, and distortions about love.

Most of us think we are capable of loving, but because of past negative experiences, this capability is not firing on all cylinders.People’s ego, pride and fear that they could be rejected, locks the door to this possibility. Love me first and then I’ll see if I’ll love you back is the voice of fear within.  So how do we breakthrough this and attract genuine, healthy love?

1. Never try to force yourself to love.
2. Do a thorough self examination of yourself truthfully.
3. Find where your vanity, ego and pride rule your relationships.
4. Fall in love with yourself first and not in a narcissistic manner.
5. Be willing to give love freely without any expectations.
6. Connect inwardly and lovingly to the Divine and discover harmony within.
7. Stop wallowing in self pity and extend yourself to love or help someone.
8. Change your attitude towards your pain.
9. Stop looking for love…love is found inside.
10. Be willing to risk heart break!

Surrender all your false insecurities and fall truly in love.  Real love isn’t selfish.  Let go of the need to control and allow the natural feelings of love, kindness and generosity to generate a magical relationship.Love comes from a place deep in the heart….not your mind.  Trust your heart to know love and give love.  Your homework assignment is to take the take the next 10 days and work on a single item above from my recommendations for the entire day; be conscious of it throughout the day and write down your feelings in a journal.  You are on your way to attracting genuine, healthy love……….it’s that simple & you deserve it.

True love always creates happiness!!!!

 

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Posted in Emotional and Spiritual Healing, Relationships | 1 Comment

Divorce……make it work!

Relationships are the key to our “enlightenment.” How we feel about ourselves is always reflected in our personal relationships. People blame others for all of their unhappiness, but that is clearly one of the biggest lies that we can tell to ourselves. No one on this planet is perfect, but we can be perfect for each other through love and acceptance. When one needs to be “RIGHT” to make the other” WRONG” this is a fundamental error in developing a spiritual and more evolved relationship.

A divorce is a somewhat like death, where life changes create a personal and spiritual transformation. Personally, I believe in divorce….two people should not stay together if they do not love each other. With that said, it remains totally destructive to draw weapons and go to battle in divorce court. If children are involved, they are exposed to their parent’s venom and wounds. Did you ever think that if you want to end a marriage, you do not need an excuse or reason to make your partner wrong or bad?

.A self-aware individual will look within and find the reason that the relationship is not working….an emotional, immature person will always put the bulk of the blame on the other. When two people relate to each other, both of them equally carry the responsibility for the relationship. Difficulties and fears arise in our interactions when you are still blaming the other person. You look at their faults and tend to magnify the situation; your expectations can never be met at this point.

If you want a relationship to blossom, start with being kind to yourself. Give up your own self hatred and your negative distortions and attitude towards yourself. Extend love to another person freely without control or underlying fear. Two people coming together in a loving relationship is one of the most powerful and joyful experiences a person can have. If you decide to divorce, do it with respect for your former partner….. leave the drama for television!

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Posted in Emotional and Spiritual Healing, Relationships | 0 Comments

Learning to Love

There are very few who truly know how to love.  Most of us are operating on an ego based personality, looking towards another human being to fill the cracked holes within ourselves.  Early in a relationship, our hearts and minds are filled with euphoria and happiness, like a box of chocolates.  This tastes so good.  We start to associate that the other person is making us feel this way.  Then reality sets in like a dark cloud and the ‘blame game’ begins.  You begin to say “you don’t bring me flowers anymore; you did this to me;  you make me feel like a piece of crap;  I would be so happy of it weren’t for you….”.  Does this sound familiar?  Suddenly, love turns into hate.  Real love never has a polar opposite…..love is love.  So what can we do when our relationships start taking nose dives?

1.  Never try to change anyone else. The person you can change is YOU.

2.  People treat you the way you treat yourself.

3.  You have to start with love and acceptance of yourself before you can extend love to another.

4.  Don’t expect any person to make you happy…..this is your job.

5.  Allow the real you to be present in an intimate relationship…not a phony or masked self.

6.  Realize that you are responsible for only fifty percent of the relationship.

7.  Operate, not from neediness, and extend love & support to each other.

8.  Give up expectations and control.

9.  If there is something you dislike in another person, find that trait within yourself and transform it.

Relationships are the key to your life’s journey and spiritual growth. Learning to truly love takes time, commitment and courage…..without it, life is empty – your choice!

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Posted in Emotional and Spiritual Healing, Judgment/Criticism, Relationships | 0 Comments

Cherish or Perish ~ Balloon Boy, Jon & Kate, Michael Jackson

CHERISH…..what a lovely word.  Our children need to be cherished. Society says that children are our national treasure, but our actions say otherwise.  The recent balloon boy incident is clearly a demonstration of using children for the parents’ own self-interest.  The poor child spoke the truth and seconds later, vomited in fear of his father’s wrath. Michael Jackson is another example of a child used for his Father’s ambitions;  he  craved for his childhood to be returned to him by creating his Neverland ranch.  Clearly Michael never healed from being forced into the spotlight and abuse. Fame and fortune never gave him the inner peace and love he wanted so desperately. He had to numb himself daily.

Every night we are bombarded with ‘Jon and Kate’ stories both proclaiming the love and concern for their children while their actions are totally the opposite.  It’s easy for all of us to sit in front of the television and judge these people and self righteously declare that we would never do that. But we all do this, one way or another.

 All the great religions of the world proclaim that love is the answer, but how many of us truly know how to love?  It is time to remember.

 1.  CHOOSE differently.  Each day choose peace, harmony, truth, integrity, and love.

2.  FOCUS on creating a firm foundation for yourself and family of health, prosperity, and love.

3.  LEARN from the lessons of your life experiences. Stop repeating old patterns of negative behavior and blame.

4.  FORGIVE and it will fortify you. Our history shows that all of us  readily pick up a weapon to retaliate. Jesus said it best: “Father forgive them. They know not what they do.”

5.  BREATHE in love and thoughts of love. This is your true purpose. 

 CHERISH yourself.  CHERISH life.  CHERISH your children, family, community and friends.  So, I challenge you to look inward and find where you are withholding love……be the love you seek!

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Posted in Preparing for Motherhood, Relationships | 1 Comment

Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #2 Heal the relationship with your Birth Parents!

Golden Rule #2 – Heal the relationship with your Birth parents

  Whether you’re conscious of it or not, most of us are carrying in our subconscious minds issues with our birth parents. Most of us did not live in a television sitcom as pure as “Happy Days.”  Dysfunction exists in ALL families one way or another. How we relate to others is interconnected from our conception and early childhood experiences.

 The ideal situation is to start doing some inner housecleaning before you get pregnant. The more you sweep away the hurts and resentments towards your parents, the more it will enhance the relationship between you and your child. The Mother-Child bond is a core foundation to every infant, as Freudian psychology points out.

 What to do/Action Steps: 

1.  Start examining issues with your parents. If we start to self-reflect and observe the friction we have with our parents, we will begin to develop more self understanding.
2.  Realize that your parents are human and stop resenting them for not being your perfect ideal.
3.  Go back into your past and start to FEEL painful memories. ‘Feeling the feeling’ is a powerful tool to release old baggage. Don’t be afraid to experience hurtful feelings.
4.  Write down all your poisonous, hateful feelings and memories. Read them out loud and then rip up the paper;  say “these feelings are no longer part of me.  I forgive you for not being whom I wanted you to be.”
5. When revisiting the past experience with your parents, visualize the painful experience in a more positive and uplifting way. Create the resolve that your inner child craves for.
6.  Stop blaming your parents for your own unhappiness as an adult. It is time to allow mature and accepting feelings to flow through you.
7.  Allow your childish and immature feelings to surface. Don’t judge these feelings. It is healthy to let them surface, then bury them deep in your unconscious,

 As you explore and release childhood feelings and emotions, the more room you create for loving, peaceful feelings.  All these exercises may seem silly, but when you excavate your dark, destructive emotions it allows you to love more. You cannot love unless you feel and it is vital to feel painful feelings. All this inner work will help you grow emotionally, as well as spiritually.  Learn to love your parents unconditionally and forgive them for past mistakes. You will begin to like yourself more and more, and this is how you become a better Mother and human being. This love, like an umbilical cord, will connect to you and your child.  Love is never broken!

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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #1 Strengthen the relationship with your Partner!

Golden Rule #1 – Strengthen the relationship with your Partner

 This should be your main priority. Personal relationships are key to your spiritual growth.  We walk on sunshine early in our relationship and then as time marches on. the dark, shadowy clouds descend. “He doesn’t bring me flowers anymore.” “She never wants to have sex.” “He’s never home.” “All she does is nag!” “He’s a slob.” Does any of this sound familiar? BLAME, BLAME, BLAME!!! It is always someone else’s fault that you are unhappy. Here lies your first mistake.  IT IS YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! This is no one else’s responsibility. No one can make you feel anything. These are your feelings.  NEVER EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE…. Many people get married thinking that all the things that bothered you about your mate will change once the wedding band is on the finger. False…..it is just the opposite. All those things that triggered you before, intensify. People mirror back to you what you’re feeling about yourself. Realize that you don’t have any power to change another human being. You can only change yourself.  We are all human and sometimes we cannot control our feelings. In a healthy relationship it is important to be expressing our truth without belittling or accusing another person. Creating a loving relationship starts with stopping the dualistic patterns of right versus wrong. Divorce court is filled with this energy. If we speak with kindness, love and truth with our partners we will start to shift our relationship into a supportive one.   If someone is angry at you, choose not to match their feelings. The more you love and approve of yourself, the more you have the capabilities to love others.   Remember that true love never has an opposite. Love is love and it never deviates.

 What to do / Action Steps

 1.  Allow a deep, compassionate loving for you to sift through negative emotions.   Feel them and embrace your darkness. As your negative feelings surface ….explore them and find out where the root comes from. (Early childhood experiences may be a clue.)  Realize if the roots come from the past why are you allowing them in the present? Take a breath and a time out if you need it. See if you can raise your vibration to love.

2.   Nurture yourself and allow higher, euphoric feeling to come. I play uplifting music to elevate my mood. If you want flowers…buy them for yourself

3.   If there is a personality flaw you see in another person, find where that flaw is hidden within yourself. Accept that it is in you and then transcend that trait to a more positive and spiritual attribute. Take for example; ENVY. Maybe someone has something that you want. Instead of getting jealous, you can shift your lower feelings into positive ones. “Good for them for creating such goodness in their life. I can create that in mine also.”

4.   Develop Healthy Communication…. Give up the need to be right and making another wrong. Take personal responsibility for your actions and reactions.

5.   Treat People the way you want to be treated… If you want love and respect, then treat yourself and others that way. You can choose to be commanding rather than demanding and constructive but not destructive.

6.   Let Go of Expectations…. Stop expecting people to behave in the way that you think they should. Disappointment will disappear and love and acceptance can be the replacement.

7.   Invest time and energy in your relationship and the benefits of a loving home will benefit you, your Partner & especially your children!

 Regardless of where you are in your life journey – Maiden, Mother or Crone – creating a loving partnership is critical to enlightment!

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