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Shaman Mother’s “7″ Golden Rules before you get pregnant – #1 Strengthen the relationship with your Partner!

Golden Rule #1 – Strengthen the relationship with your Partner

 This should be your main priority. Personal relationships are key to your spiritual growth.  We walk on sunshine early in our relationship and then as time marches on. the dark, shadowy clouds descend. “He doesn’t bring me flowers anymore.” “She never wants to have sex.” “He’s never home.” “All she does is nag!” “He’s a slob.” Does any of this sound familiar? BLAME, BLAME, BLAME!!! It is always someone else’s fault that you are unhappy. Here lies your first mistake.  IT IS YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! This is no one else’s responsibility. No one can make you feel anything. These are your feelings.  NEVER EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE…. Many people get married thinking that all the things that bothered you about your mate will change once the wedding band is on the finger. False…..it is just the opposite. All those things that triggered you before, intensify. People mirror back to you what you’re feeling about yourself. Realize that you don’t have any power to change another human being. You can only change yourself.  We are all human and sometimes we cannot control our feelings. In a healthy relationship it is important to be expressing our truth without belittling or accusing another person. Creating a loving relationship starts with stopping the dualistic patterns of right versus wrong. Divorce court is filled with this energy. If we speak with kindness, love and truth with our partners we will start to shift our relationship into a supportive one.   If someone is angry at you, choose not to match their feelings. The more you love and approve of yourself, the more you have the capabilities to love others.   Remember that true love never has an opposite. Love is love and it never deviates.

 What to do / Action Steps

 1.  Allow a deep, compassionate loving for you to sift through negative emotions.   Feel them and embrace your darkness. As your negative feelings surface ….explore them and find out where the root comes from. (Early childhood experiences may be a clue.)  Realize if the roots come from the past why are you allowing them in the present? Take a breath and a time out if you need it. See if you can raise your vibration to love.

2.   Nurture yourself and allow higher, euphoric feeling to come. I play uplifting music to elevate my mood. If you want flowers…buy them for yourself

3.   If there is a personality flaw you see in another person, find where that flaw is hidden within yourself. Accept that it is in you and then transcend that trait to a more positive and spiritual attribute. Take for example; ENVY. Maybe someone has something that you want. Instead of getting jealous, you can shift your lower feelings into positive ones. “Good for them for creating such goodness in their life. I can create that in mine also.”

4.   Develop Healthy Communication…. Give up the need to be right and making another wrong. Take personal responsibility for your actions and reactions.

5.   Treat People the way you want to be treated… If you want love and respect, then treat yourself and others that way. You can choose to be commanding rather than demanding and constructive but not destructive.

6.   Let Go of Expectations…. Stop expecting people to behave in the way that you think they should. Disappointment will disappear and love and acceptance can be the replacement.

7.   Invest time and energy in your relationship and the benefits of a loving home will benefit you, your Partner & especially your children!

 Regardless of where you are in your life journey – Maiden, Mother or Crone – creating a loving partnership is critical to enlightment!

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Preparing for the Mother-Baby Union

Pregnancy is the crowning glory of being a woman.  Lots of women share horror stories of their pregnancy and their arduous labor, but if we really put aside others viewpoints and in go inward we will start to realize the gift we have within our own bodies…the power to bring forth life into this world.  Often time we hear women complain about their periods and how it brings about uncomfortable emotional feelings that we have now labeled PMS.  There is cramping and all the other uncomfortable sensations of being in a woman’s’ body.  But if we truly went in deeper inside our bodies we could discover something miraculous in our DNA and physical makeup.  Women are the carriers of our future generations.  This in itself is a sacred and holy act. Personally, if our world was a different place of consciousness, I would suggest that during a pregnancy a woman should keep her self and the baby protective from the negative bombardments of our world and society.  But for most of us that is impossible.  So you must create a sacred space and incorporate it into your daily life.  Here is what you can do:

• The first and most important thing to do to prepare for the upcoming pregnancy is to being physically fit.  This will benefit both mother and baby.  You should improve your nutrition and adjust your diet and maybe consult with a nutritionist to guide you.  A professional might suggest some supplements.  This is a very important step to take in the welfare of you and unborn baby.
• Yoga and mediation will assist to calm your nervous system,  learn to relax & get in touch with your body, as well as open up the energy chakra system that keeps the” chi” flowing inside of you.  Learning to get in touch with your breath and improving your breathing will assist you not only in improved health and vitality but also prepare you for a focus in labor.  Yoga teaches you how to relax into discomfort and surrender to what your body is feeling rather than resisting.  Prana is the energy that flows like an electrical wire along our spine.  Once you learn to use slow mindful breath you will develop an inner calm that benefits you and your baby, bringing vitality to your health.
• Acupuncture will prepare you before and during pregnancy.  It will keep the “chi” flowing and bring in vital energy to all the important organs of your body.  This ancient practice of healing is presently being verified by medical professionals across the world.
• Get in touch with your emotional body.  This is one of the most important steps to take BEFORE you get pregnant.  Unresolved issues with your own birth mother could and will probably surface.  As much as you could release any emotional garbage you are holding inside about your childhood and parents will be the best gift you could give to yourself and unborn child.  It doesn’t mean that you need to be in a “Perfect” state of being, but if you do this step with the proper therapist or healer, it will enhance your pregnancy and birth process and essentially your relationship with your baby.
• Develop a close intimacy with your mate to insure a blessed conception….learning to love each other more deeply and connect on a soul level.  The art of tantra or sacred sex is a skill that few people take the time to develop within a relationship.  Many of us are so busy that sex becomes a chore or an act to get to the point of orgasm. If you practice or buy some tapes that will help enhance you sex life this will bring in more than positive results in your relationship.  Temples in Asia depict different sexual acts and positions because these holy places knew the power and the sacredness of sex.

Bringing a baby through your body is a blessed event.  Preparing the mind, body, emotions and spirit with love and ardor for the arrival of a new soul will uplift the conception and birth experience.  Good luck and remember that every baby is a gift!

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Baby Boy or Girl!

Baby boy or girl | a choice

Whether, a baby boy or girl, I don’t know if there is any woman who is pregnant, who at one time didn’t lean toward a certain gender preference for their unborn child.  In my experience, I have seen many women who did not receive the baby boy or girl that they wanted and, due to their disappointment, bonding did not immediately take place. This deprives both the mother and the child. Someone once said that if women were able to choose what gender they would like, there would be far too many male children born and our population would experience a crisis with not enough women to bear children. I have found this to be untrue. Most of the women who came to me had two sons and ached to have a female child. I think it would be great if we could all experience children of each gender… assuming that is your choice for a boy or girl!

What if |  baby Boy or Girl

Well, if money wasn’t a problem for you regarding having a baby boy or girl, then you could undergo a lengthy scientific process that separates your husband’s sperm. Sperm is the determining factor in the gender of a child. A woman’s egg has nothing to do with gender determination. But most of us are unable to afford such a a process to have a boy or girl,  and, even with this scientific process of separating a male’s sperm, it is not guaranteed that you’ll have the gender you desire, whether it is a boy or girl.  On the other hand, The Secret Baby Recipe is simple, economical and pleasurable. Sex is still sex and there are no special added effects to take away from a special moment.

Baby boy or girl recipe

For more than 25 years, women having been dramatically increasing their odds for a Baby Boy or Girl using the magic ingredients of this recipe that includes:

1.  Believing

2.  Visualizing

3.  Predicting Ovulation

4.  Creating (Sex & Timing)

5.  Loving

6.  Meditating

7.  Accepting

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Childbirth Fears

Childbirth Fears |  they happen to every woman

You are pregnant and family members, friends and acquatiances celebrate your good news.  All of a sudden you are bombarded by every woman that you encounter with their “war stories.”  Women wear their childbirth experience like a purple heart on their chest!  You will hear horror stories of forty-eight hour labors and on the opposite spectrum, women who  did it naturally and the baby slipped out.  I guarantee that you’ll be polite and listen, but keep this thought in mind……. their experience does not equal yours.  The more important question is ” What type of childbirth experience do I want to create?”

Childbirth Fears |  Eliminating them

Three out of my four deliveries were forceps assisted.   My mind had been previously filled with limiting childbirth fears that my pelvis was small, labor would be long and etc.  However, the more I studied the mind-body connection,  I began to realize that I had the power to create a different birth experience.  Every day I would visualize my daughter’s birth and that she would just pop out into the world.  I saw it in my mind’s eye;  I affirmed it. I knew it and when Jacqueline arrived in the world she popped out exactly as I had visualized with the mind and body completely synchronized.  Take time to write down all your worse childbirth fears about the upcoming birth. Read it out loud and the rip up the paper you wrote on into tiny pieces. You can even burn the paper if you prefer.  Then flush it down the toilet and say out loud “these feelings are no longer part of me and my child.”  Next write down how you want the experience to be.  See it!  Feel it…calm, easy and natural. Sit everyday for five minutes contemplating a safe passageway for you and your baby. Let love and peace be your constant companions. Trust the process. This is what your body was designed to do.  You are a woman and a Mother……a vessel for a soul to arrive on earth.  What a gift!!

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Am I Ready to be a Mother?

This is probably a question that every woman asks herself at one time or another.  Some of us plan pregnancy and for others it is a big surprise. Women’s bodies are designed for childbirth, but that doesn’t make every woman a Mother.  Motherhood is a serious lifetime commitment.  My oldest is thirty years old and sometimes I feel like she needs me as much emotionally, as she did as a young child.  This job is never ending and ever demanding, but to me the Mother and child relationship is such a rich experience that is filled with treasures.  You will know in your heart when it is the right time to conceive a child.  People spends a lot of time examining their finances and other factors in determining when to get pregnant, but being emotionally prepared is the best choice.  All those other things will take care of themselves somehow.

Doubt, insecurities and fears will come up.  Will my baby be healthy?  What if I can’t do this?  I will never have fun again or you might worry that your body will be ruined.  Feel the doubts and fears….. cast them aside like unnecessary clutter.  Pour in some beautiful thoughts such as:  This will be an incredible experience.  My body will remain healthy and fit, as my pregnancy expands.  I will be a wonderful Mother.  I am blessed to be able to carry a child.  Fill your consciousness with loving and embracing feelings and I guarantee that your motherhood abilities will blossom like a rose!

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How to cope with the Baby Blues

Baby Blues | what are they

We all assume that when our new born baby arrives, our motherly hormones kick in and we will be in ecstasy…. coddling, suckling & bonding with our child.  Yes, this indeed happens for some new mothers, but for others it is just the opposite.  The ‘baby blues or postpartum depression’ begin to set in like a deep, dark cloud over the mother…..you are hurt, angry, confused and most of all, ashamed of your feelings.  How could a “good” mother feel this way?  What kind of person am I?  Doctors blame these feelings on the blast of hormones bombarding the woman’s body, but as a Shaman Healer I strongly disagree.  Our hormones are acting as a catalyst to release pent-up emotions in our body that a woman has suppressed during pregnancy.  These layers of mental and emotional unexpressed feelings are like a volcano erupting, pushing a woman into her pain.  Instead of accepting her true feelings, she goes into shame.  Unfortunately, this is like adding gasoline to an already hot fire.

Women’s Collective Consciousness | additional impact on the Baby Blues

In women’s collective consciousness, there is still a tremendous amount of hurt and pain that also impacts your emotions.  The largest holocaust that has ever taken place on this earth has been the obliteration of women.  China is a perfect example of a country rejecting feminine consciousness, as most women abort or give their daughters up in favor of a male.  ‘How does this affect me’,  you might ask.  It certainly does since we are all connected.  Every time that we look at the feminine energy as weak, all that energy collects in our female bodies.   Unresolved issues with our own birth mother are also stored in our subconscious and manifest themselves during this period.

What to do | Shaman Mother’s Tips for the Baby Blues

Allow these negative dark emotions to surface, talk to a good friend or healer about these feelings and most importantly, have compassion for yourself. Accept these feelings and stop identifying with this pain.  Observe yourself from an objective perspective, as if you were watching a movie, and notice your reactions and trigger points. The moment that the Ego stops perceiving that this is me, the sufferings stops.  Shift these feelings and emotional pain into enlightened consciousness.  You are on your way to setting yourself free, as these painful feelngs will shift into a blessed bliss!

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